Becoming a Godly homemaker is a skill like any other. Skills take time to learn and becoming a Godly homemaker is no different.
A Note:
Please keep in mind that while the role of the godly homemaker does traditionally fall on the wife/mom of the home as seen in Scripture and history, I do recognize that the godly homemaker can absolutely be the role of the husband/father.
Marriage roles are a very personal decision made between the husband and wife and no one should ever feel guilty or shameful for not “fitting into” a particular role or mold.
That being said, I am writing this from my own perspective and observations of how I was raised, therefore you will see the godly homemaker being referred to in the feminine.
If you are reading this and do not align with being a godly homemaker, but would like to adopt some of these characteristics into your own life, you can most certainly do so. You don’t have to be a wife/mom to exhibit these characteristics.
I am a wife, but not yet a mom. I wasn’t a wife until 27 and with the Lord’s help tried to have these characteristics even before getting married. It my hope that you find this encouraging.
What Is Homemaking?
Homemaking is both an art and a science. At least, that’s what I’ve gathered from my and other’s experiences. Whether you’re newly married or have been for 20 + years and even have children, the root of homemaking remains the same.
Every homemaker’s goal typically aligns with the desire to create a cozy, welcoming, and safe environment where household members and guests alike feel like they can be themselves and find comfort.
Biblically speaking, homemaking is a pastime that can be seen all throughout the Scriptures. While I won’t dive into that in this post, I just wanted to mention that being a Godly homemaker doesn’t have to be complicated. You simply have to be willing to apply biblical principles to your mindset towards homemaking and daily routines.
Let’s get into it!
1. All Work Is For Glorifying The Lord
I made this number one because as godly homemakers, seeking to serve the will or our heavenly Father, our goals should always begin and end with a desire to please, honor, and glorify the Lord.
It truly is the most important part of living, breathing, and homemaking. Colossians 3:23-24 says,
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for
men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a
reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
This passage begins by giving the rules for the Christian household. I won’t unpack it all in this post because it isn’t all relevant here. The point I’m trying to emphasize is that our work as godly homemakers is ultimately for serving the Lord.
So, keep this in mind the next time the laundry has piled up and your hubby is trying to find underwear by digging through hampers, instead of peacefully finding them in his draws where they belong. We are serving Jesus with our work. But He doesn’t expect perfection.
2. All Work Is To Serve The Family
This is one that my mom and dad were really good about helping us to understand growing up. Although my mom did struggle with wanting to present a “perfect” home to visitors, more often than not we were reminded that our homemaking was to serve our family within the home first, after Jesus of course.
We all live in our homes, most of the time. If you’re an average person who works all day and comes home at night, you want your home to be comforting and inviting. A home should be a place where you feel safe, at peace, protected to some extent, and able to be your true self without judgment.
So whether you live alone, with roommates, or you have a family, and possibly get to be a stay at home spouse/parent, there are few vital things to remember. Keeping our homes in a way that will allow that sense of peace and sanctuary to take root and blossom is super important to our health and the health of those we share the home with.
All that just to say, next time you have visitors coming, please don’t be so hard on yourself to have a perfectly cleaned bathroom for them to use or perfectly sparkling kitchen floors. The visitors who love you and accept you for who you and the way you are wont judge your mess.
You may even be surprised at how much you bless your visitors by not having everything looking perfectly neat, clean, and tidy.
3. She Has a Servant’s Heart
The Bible often describes a servant’s heart as one who serves cheerfully and with joy. It also gets easier to serve this way when we remember whom we are serving. Being servant-hearted doesn’t stop with how we serve in our homes, but this is ultimately where it begins and ends.
As children, we hope that we are taught to be this way. If we aren’t, then as adults we hope that we will desire to learn how to be this way. Like most things in life, learning to be servant-hearted is a skill. And skills can be learned.
True Servant-Leadership
The godly homemaker with the servant’s heart is the one who is willing to be like Jesus and wash His disciples feet. To give you some context: back in the day, the roads were all dirt. Most of the shoes were sandal type shoes (not what we think of as sandals today, but their ancestors).
As people went about their day, their feet would get covered in dirt that was often caked onto their feet and in between their toes. Feet may have also been covered with animal waste and other disgusting dirt and debris.
Thus, it was the courteous practice to wash off your feet prior to entering any home as to not bring the dirt from outside into the clean home. Washing feet was considered gross, to say the least. I don’t know about you, but I’m not exactly a foot person.
Anyways, washing other’s feet was also something only the lowest of lowly servants would do for their masters. I think you’re beginning to see the point I’m trying to make here.
Jesus lowered himself to that lowly station when He chose to wash His disciples’ feet. He did this as an example for all watching and for us studying Scripture today. He wanted to make the point that if He could be humble enough to lower Himself to such a lowly station as to wash feet, then so could we.
No one is above any kind of work, except Jesus (being God) but even He showed that no task was too mediocre or gruesome for Him.
The Reality of Homemaking
As godly homemakers, we deal with a lot of gross work. Being a godly homemaker is not all glitz and glamor. It’s not Pinterest perfect homes that have been curated and staged for magazines.
It’s real life, where real messes happen. And real people, living a very real life. We are the gatekeepers of our home and we get the honor and privilege of serving our families and guests by being servant-hearted. Serving cheerfully and with joy as unto the Lord.
4. Her Priority Is Creating A Safe and Peaceful Environment For Her Family
I mentioned this previously, but I’d like to dig a little deeper into this point. Homemaking is not housemaking. We live in houses. Houses are the structures we put our possessions into.
They’re the structures where we usually sleep most nights (unless you travel a lot for work). So much happens inside of houses. Not all good, but not all bad either.
The difference between a house and a home is more a feeling rather than a being. Anyone can be in a house. Anyone can live in a house or house-like structure. But to feel like you’re home in a house is something so much greater!
Some of you will know what I mean. And for anyone who hasn’t experienced the feeling of home, please let me know, there are ways we can change that without breaking the bank or moving.
Home Is What We Make It
The point is that the feeling of home is something that godly homemakers build within the dwelling we call a house. It’s the sweet smell of something baking in the oven. The warm hug that greets you at the door and bombards you with questions about life and how your day is going.
It’s a table where we can gather together to share a meal and enjoy each other’s company. It’s a couch where we can plop ourselves and feel like cozy little blobs when we’re exhausted and just need to become a vegetable.
Hopefully, I’m making my point clear. Home is something you create. It’s a feeling of peace, comfort, unconditional love, and always knowing you are welcome.
Children should always feel welcome, loved, and safe at home. Unfortunately, we live in a world where this is not always possible. As Christians, it is our duty to create this feeling of home for our families and anyone who enters our homes.
5. She Is Okay With Messes That Don’t Take Away From Her Family’s Quality of Life
All of these points are so near and dear to my heart, but this one makes me a bit passionate. As godly homemakers, we are bombarded with ads and pictures telling us that messes are bad and that if we have messes in our homes, then we’re slacking and not doing our “jobs” properly.
I’m here to remind us all that messes are a normal part of life. If someone is judging you for having a mess in your home, the place where you and your family live all day every day, then please tell that person to keep their comments and opinions to themselves.
The only ones allowed to make any comments (and they better be nice comments) are the ones paying the bills. Usually, as godly homemakers, we’re the ones paying the bills, unless your spouse handles them. Either way, the point remains.
The same way people shouldn’t comment on people’s bodies, people should also quit commenting on the state of people’s homes. (Please keep in mind there is a difference between messy and dirty. I’ll talk more about this in another post.)
At the end of the day, if your family is healthy, happy, and enjoying being home, then you’ve achieved your goal. So go and congratulate yourself, enjoy a glass of wine or tea (whichever is your thing) and sit back, relax, and appreciate all your hard work. You’re doing great! I’m so proud of you for not giving up on yourself and not giving into the pressures of the world!
6. She Refuses To Fall Into The Trap Of Toxic Productivity
Without going too far into what it is and how to break the habit (I’ll deep dive into toxic productivity in another post), I just want to briefly explain that toxic productivity is when you are busy for the sake of being busy and then feel guilty if you’re not actively doing something.
It doesn’t matter what you’re doing or not doing, it could literally be that you feel guilty for not putting away laundry after you’ve just cleaned the entire house.
The simple reminder here is that the godly homemaker doesn’t allow herself to get caught up in these feelings of guilt and shame over not being “busy enough.” Too many Christians forget that Jesus exemplified to us the importance of rest. God rested on the 7th day after all the work He had done.
Feeling guilty for not “doing enough” or not “being good enough” are lies that the enemy, the world, and our flesh feed us in order to isolate us and bring us down. Guilt and shame are not things that the Lord we serve wants us to have. He desires that we find peace and rest in His goodness.
So the next time you feel ashamed or guilty for taking a break or saying no to an opportunity to get you or your kids involved in something else, please keep in mind that toxic productivity is, well, toxic.
It’s not healthy. As godly homemakers, we would do well to practice healthy productivity—balanced productivity that serves our family and adds rather than subtracts to their joy and well-being.
Related Post:
Say No To Toxic Productivity
There is no need to be busy for the sake of being busy. Instead, do your best, as working unto the Lord, to accomplish what needs to get done, and leave the rest for another day when you have the time and energy to do it. I’m not saying leave for tomorrow what could have gotten done today. I am saying, don’t overwhelm or overwork yourself on things that are not necessary for you and your families health and happiness.
7. She Makes Time For Herself Both Personally and Spiritually
Godly homemakers tend to be wives and moms who give and pour so much into their families and homes and forget that in order to have something to give and pour, we need to receive.
We need to be refilled, refreshed, renewed, all the re-s. We need to be ok with making time and taking that time to care for ourselves.
How can we expect to serve our families and bless our homes with service and love if we are empty and dry? We need to prioritize ourselves a little more. Please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying here.
This is not a statement to promote selfish, neglectful behavior. On the contrary, part of being a godly homemaker is remembering and practicing Biblical self-care.
Biblical Self-care
Now, I realize that self-care is a major buzzword in today’s culture. I want to make it clear that there’s a difference between the world’s version of self-care and what I like to call Biblical self-care.
It’s the kind that nurtures not only our physical bodies, but also our spirits. As Christians and godly homemakers, we have to nurture our relationship with the Lord. We have to prioritize our devotional time.
While it is super important to make sure that we are caring for our bodies with various things like exercise, adequate sleep, and nutrition to name a few, it is even more important that we care for our spiritual health.
Our culture and the media that we surrounds us love to market self-care as this journey towards becoming more enlightened about one’s purpose or about doing tiny things each day that bring you joy.
Please understand that I’m not bashing doing small things for yourself each day that make you smile and feel filled up. What I’m trying to emphasize here is that while those things are great, they’re temporary.
The candles will burn out. The bath bombs fizzle out after one use. The essential oils and oily products will need to be re-ordered. They are all temporary and fleeting. Please do enjoy them all, just don’t allow them to replace your time with the Lord.
Don’t allow the world’s version of self-care to replace the Lord’s ultimate restorative care for us. I’ll share more about Biblical self-care in another post.
8. She Prioritizes The Well-being of Her Family Over The Neatness of Her Home
It’s important to remember that although we do have work that needs doing throughout our homes, it should never come before our families.
Even though we serve our families through godly homemaking—and as previously established, our ultimate goal is serving the Lord—it’s super important that we never forget how much more our family needs our emotional support, rather than our hard work of tidying.
So, next time your hubby or kids need to cuddle, don’t allow the pile of laundry or sink full of dishes to distract you. Instead, enjoy being in that present moment—cuddling and strengthening your relationship with them.
You will be so glad you did. Plus, the laundry and dishes will always be there, while the chance to cultivate these relationships may not be.
9. She Doesn’t Sweat The Small Stuff
Small things are things like getting mad over spilled lemonade that drenches the kitchen table and almost breaks your hubby’s phone (even when the adults are the ones doing the spilling).
Losing your temper because the dishwasher is still waiting to be unloaded, even after you’ve given several reminders. Or allowing underwear that’s still sitting on the bathroom floor to irritate you. I could go on just like many of you could.
The point here is that the godly homemaker, while she is human and totally free to express her emotions (yes, all of them), no one, especially the godly homemaker should be hurting other with that expression of emotions. We all have moments when we feel like screaming bloody murder.
The difference is that instead of tearing down our spouses and children, we find positive and productive ways of expressing negative emotions. For example, you’re fuming because your grandma’s glass candle holder just fell off a shelf and broke into pieces.
You can definitely yell about it, just don’t point blame or shout harsh words at others, even if it is their fault that it fell (it was my own fault that it fell, so I needed to extend myself some grace).
Remember that objects are replaceable, but people are not. It’s better to have a broken candle holder than a goose egg on my head from it landing on me because I tried to catch it.
10. She Has a Growth Mindset and Is Flexible
You’ve probably heard many people talking about the concept of a growth mindset. Well, this is something even godly homemakers can adopt into our own lives.
Without going into huge detail here, there are two types of mindsets: growth and fixed. A growth mindset is one that is flexible, teachable, and willing to adapt with natural life changes. The way companies and stores had to adapt or shut down during covid.
A fixed mindset, on the other hand, is one that is unwilling or thinks it’s unable to change, adapt, grow, and progress. Even though they pioneered the digital camera, Kodak didn’t efficiently transition into the digital age of photography. Instead, over time they fell, as other companies like Nikon and Fuji took the lead (here’s the article I’m referencing).
Read more about how to develop a growth mindset here.
Simply put, the godly homemaker who refuses to grow and adapt accordingly—with her home, her family, the natural rise of changing needs and seasons—will end up feeling lost, out of control, and ultimately purposeless.
These are things that the Lord doesn’t desire for His children. He wants us to be willing to grow, be teachable, and desire to be more like Christ. But in order to become more like Christ, we have to be willing to grow and growing is often an uncomfortable experience.
Closing Thoughts:
The godly homemaker can be anyone who desires to bring joy, peace, and life to their home. I refer to the godly homemaker in the feminine because I am writing from my perspective and the perspectives of the other godly women I’ve learned from.
While this is not an exhaustive list and the qualities of a godly homemaker are vast, these are the 10 qualities I’ve found to be the most essential. As with the Proverbs 31 woman, we don’t need to allow this list to overwhelm us.
We don’t have to feel ashamed or not good enough if we aren’t hitting all of these qualities all the time. That’s not the point. The point is to have godly homemaking qualities that we strive for.
The ultimate goal is to glorify and please the Lord in all we say and do. So, if you’re doing that, then you’ve achieved the goal of being a godly homemaker.
It doesn’t matter how your home looks, how you look, or how your children look. What matters is that you are living in obedience to our heavenly Father and glorifying Him to the best of your abilities.
Remember, we are covered by grace. Paul tells us in his second letter to the Christians in Corinth, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’” (2 Cor. 12:9, NIV).
Let’s keep this and many other passages of Scripture in mind when we feel like we don’t measure up. HIS grace is sufficient!
